煩惱

最近工作不順利了
工作不順就想起你了
你最近好嗎
工作順利嗎
辛苦嗎
吃得好嗎
有人跟你分憂嗎
弄一大碗麵給我吃飽飽
然後替我按頭帶我睡去
可以嗎
今天頭好痛...

旅行 - 1

第一次和你去旅行回来
好开心~ 你比我更喜欢shopping呀！
最近都没特别，就每天跟你一起过
简单的，有时候小争吆而已
有时候还是蠻好笑的

最喜欢就是和你一起~ ^o^
吃饭时候更是最开心啦当然！呵！

count down to HK: 54 days!!!

08。20。2011

時間﹕2011年8月20日
人物﹕馮景豪先生
地點﹕多倫多
項目﹕26歲生日

11:30am 聽到第一句生日快樂
12:00pm 起床﹐洗面刷牙﹐馮生整brunch
12:30pm 食早餐﹐睇綜藝節目﹐飲奶茶
2:30pm 換衫出門口﹐去太古改錶帶
3:00pm 出發去CNE!!! 第一站。
玩咗好耐﹐玩咗好多嘢﹐馮生贏咗個公仔俾我
飲咗好大杯slushie!!! 仲洗咗佢好多錢... wahahaha!
6:30pm rodney's食晚飯!!! 第二站。 好好味好美味好新鮮生壕同大蜆
好多其他好好好味嘅海鮮
八成飽剛剛好! 跟住我地就喺附近行咗一陣
9:00pm CN TOWER!!! 第三站。
上CN TOWER
我成10年無上過去啦~ 好浪漫
11:00pm drive-in theatre!!! 第四站。 當我已經好好好滿足以為返屋企嘅時候
原來仲有﹐但係今次係坐喺車裡面睇
真係第一次呀~~ 好好feel!! 天起超好~~
好開心好開心好開心~~~~~~~~ ^0^
1:30pm 返到屋企我地就切咗馮生買俾我地既tiramisu蛋糕
好完美咁過咗我26歲嘅生日

如果你有一日真係學識讀中文字
我好想話俾你聽我好感激你所為我做同安排嘅一切
多謝你從泥濘中把我拾起 對我寵愛有加無減
多謝你馮景豪﹐感激我遇見。

可悲

我曾經有一個好朋友,
她有兩段感情也是當別人的第三者.
記得她很多時候也許不開心的，
也不能放聲的說。
她流淚，她委屈，她心碎，
但她最後也只能怪自己。
有一天她終於也放開了這段永不能曝光的感情，
雖然傷痛，但最後上天彌補了她一個新開始，
也是一個很好的男人。

有一天她跟我說了一句讓我刻骨銘心的話，
她說：「我終於覺得自己像回一個"人"了！」
這句話... 多感慨呀∼
之前當第三者根本沒一天活的像一個正常人，
笑的哭的都是讓別人駕駛的。
終於，她得到真正幸福。
那時候我聽到了那句話，我在想，
我不希望有一天這句話會從我口而出！
那是一句多可悲的說話！
但我今天真的好想說：
「我終於覺得自己像回一個"人"了！」

祝我生日快樂

生日即將逼近
我問馮生下個週末帶我去那裡？
哈哈，他說下個星期我就會知道！
雖然節目應該不會是什麼我沒有做過的
但心情卻有一種莫名其妙的興奮！

回想起上一個生日真的夠爛了
在生日之前第三次分手
而且跟週年紀念日也拼在一起
一個人孤獨的 感到很受罪
他人卻幽閒地享受自由∼ 哼！
今年我要把舊年的憾事補回來！

祝我生日快樂 祝我跟馮生都快樂 :)

08.01.2011

我鐘意有小肚腩嘅男生！
覺得有肚腩嘅男人先有男人味！
仲有，我鐘意禮拜五有酒除回家嘅佢 （好man！）
做完運動冇臭汗味但有汗味嘅佢，
乜運動乜車乜電腦都識嘅佢，
股票都識嘅佢，
訓覺有bb樣，
揸棍波都會拖我隻手同攬得我好好實嘅佢，
好怕羞同我講 「i love you」 嘅佢。

happy 4mths mr.Fung :)

第121天

這不是什麼特別日子，
只是突然間好想記底我和你點滴。

現在是七月三十一號凌晨3：49分。
我們剛剛從好友的生日派對回家了。
今天我頭痛到瘋了，
可能最近天氣太鬱悶了吧，或者太累。
回家後，當我等你用完洗手間正想洗臉，
已經看到你幫我擠好了牙膏在我的牙刷上，
太貼心。
你沒有說些什麼，
就把我扶到床邊，
準備帶我入睡。
你不懂替我頭顱按摩，
我知道你對此有一點點的內疚。
看到你從我朋友那裡用心的學，
我已經太感動。

你在我身旁不經意的入睡，
發出豬的聲音，真的很可愛。
就連我自己頭痛到睡不去也不捨得把你吵醒啦。
看着你，好想跟你說，
我想每天都是這樣。
和你一起，我覺得自己好渺小，
我覺得自己什麼都不懂。
而你，除了家務，什麼都比我懂。
真的好想好想跟你說，
「這感覺我找了好久好久了！」
當然，我不會就這樣輕易的告訴你。
讓時間帶領我們走吧。

"One man's trash is another man's treasure."

you! listen!

被同一个人伤害了这么多次.
但原来,
我还是相信爱情 :)

姓冯的, 你听好了
我不需要你的财产, 我需要你的保护
我不需要你的承诺，我需要你的行动
我不需要你送的身外物，我只需要你的爱

很高兴认识你，冯景豪。
你好 :)

可以嗎？

永遠這樣，可以嗎？

不要驀然忘了當初怎決定相愛...　

goodbye & hello

愛情如此使人著迷，
是不是正因為它的靠不住？
明知道它像水像沙一樣，無根的，
我們郤想盡辦法用一雙手一雙腳去攔住它。
直到有一天，當它翻起巨浪差點兒把我們掩沒，
我們才發現就算我們有多十雙手十雙腳，
要走的東西，終究是攔不住的。

我們都是凡夫俗子。

有一天翻起的巨浪上我遇見了你，
彼此相親相愛著一段日子。
當以為那一刻會很漫長的時候，
巨浪又捲起。在下一個波浪後，
發覺，原來我們已經不會再見面了。

冯生,我不懂游泳.
下了水我会把你抓的很紧很紧!
如果有巨浪,记得要救我.
记得要回头看看我, 不要掉下我.
*kiss*

if you... :)

如果你喜欢他, 你要接受他.
你要接受他自卑又骄傲的性格.
他喜欢把话说得完美，但很多时候却没办法将它实现。
你要给他很多很多的时间，你一定要支持他。
他的路比常人艰难，他会走错很多路，做很多的错决定，
但你要相信他，因为他真的真的想把事情做好。

如果你喜欢他，你要包容他。
你要包容他优柔寡断的缺点。
他喜欢独自享受甜酸苦辣，但你要用时间让他知道你会与他一起承担。
很多事情他没办法立刻给你答案，是因为他给自己太大的责任了。
你要知道这是好事，至小他愿意为你好，想给你最好。
你要明白他，因为他真的很需要你的支持。

如果你喜欢他，你要放大他。
你要放大他的优点，忘记他的弱点。
他现在只能给你很小很小，但他其实已经给了你他的大部份了。
若他为你做碗缅，你一定要把它吃光光，然后不停赞好。
回到家里，一放下东西，就要大抱抱他，亲他亲到他大笑才停。
他不需要很多，但这小小的事情他却会牢牢的记得好久好久。

如果你喜欢他，你要更爱他。
你爱他之余，你要更爱他的家人。
他常常说他是一个小孩子，因为他真的是。
他很需要家的感觉，尤其现在他的家人不在身边。
如果有一天你跟他家一起吃饭说笑，那时刻一定是他每天最开心的时间。
你要知道，工作完了的每一天，他只有家人和朋友是最重要的。
如若你能融入，你将会成为他家的一分子。
相信我，这是一件超级幸福的事，他的家人超级棒！

如果你喜欢他，你要坚强忍耐。
你要忍耐他有时候给你的逃避，你要坚强的等下去。
他想好了之后，他一定会对你负责的。
你不要骂他，你要逼他，更不要放弃他。
你真的要坚强的慢慢地等，不要担心，他知道你在的。
如果你真的喜欢他，你就只有等，不要骂，不要逼，没用的。

他自卑，他幼稚，他容易满足，他又懒又拼搏，他憧憬将来，
他喜欢新鲜，他重朋友，他其实怀旧，他粗心又细心，他爱恨分明，
他笑得很灿烂，他眼睛水汪汪，他爱乱放屁，他爱作弄你，
他种是爱强，但有时候忘记自己很累，他回家才是最真的样子。

他真的需要很多很多的爱和关怀，他会感动的。
以上的，我全都做得不好，以后请你帮我好好的爱他了。
如果你喜欢他，你一定要好好的爱他。

我从来没有方外过你们的幸福,
我很怕他这样说,所以,你们一定要好好的. 拜托!

最近

最近很忙
最近很好
最近很幸福
最近被愛了
since april fools...
:)

你想要的 我卻不能夠給你我全部
我能給的 卻又不是你想要擁有的
我們不適合也不想認輸
好幾次我們抱著彼此都是想要哭
你常解釋這樣的一切都只是開始
我覺得是所有的一切早就已結束
不想再約束 不要再痛苦
下一次會有更好的情路 :)

風箏與風

還在初中的時候 我跟一位男生交往
我們當時經常大吵大鬧
家裡的電話及手提電話
每一次我們吵大架他就甩壞一個
聽他姐姐曾經說 我跟他交往斷續兩年
他將全屋裡的電話都換過新了

我們吵架時 他還比我大聲
而且每一次都比我激動
我當時都不知到做錯什麼大事
令到他會每次也這樣罵我

分手的原因很簡單
有一次我們在香港廣東道上
他喝醉了 然後大罵到我哭得一遢胡塗
就連途人也問我要否報警
然後他還意圖出手
之後我們便分手了

過了好幾年後 我原諒了他
因為我對他已沒有感覺了
沒有憎恨更沒有愛
而且我們已跟別人在戀愛中
當時還年少 所以最尾也做回了普通朋友
而且常聽別人說 越憎恨一個人也代表你越愛他
我這麼容易就忘記 當時我可能也不是太喜歡他

之後我們有一天在偶然的機會下在網上聊天
是他主動說起為什麼跟我一起的時候他會變成這樣
我究竟下了什麼毒藥令他這樣瘋狂
他還說跟別的女子在一起的時候
他從來都沒有試過這樣失常
更沒有試過甩壞任何一個電話
當時我還聽得一頭霧水
我怎麼知道為什麼他當時會失心瘋 哈﹗
最後他還說他永遠都不會這樣愛別人了

直至到我明白到若果你很愛很愛一個人
愛他還比愛自己多 疼他還比疼自己多
這時候就算偶然喪失理智也是理所當然
我只是跟他一起才會哭到失聲及難以呼吸
我只是跟他一起才會吵架吵到天翻地覆
我只是跟他一起才會吃醋吃到有一點兒太過份
我只是跟他一起才會難過得想嘔吐
我只是跟他一起才會無理取鬧到自己都難以接受

這些一切一切我跟別人一起的時候也從沒發生
他要跟朋友出去玩問我去不去
我說不去了 你玩得開心點 回家打個電話給我
他說他累了 今天不過來陪我了
我說OK呀 那我們明天再見個面吧
他說他還未有知道我喜歡什麼討厭什麼
我說沒關係吧 讓時間令我們慢慢了解

我冷靜 我溫文 我優雅 我放鬆
人家說: "the person you are with should bring the best out of you."
那應該就是這樣吧
有時候太愛一個人也非好事
愛使人脆弱 太愛也更是不堪一擊
所以狂找著一點東西來得取安全感
麻目地拿捏到彼此都辛苦了
到最後 大家一起很緊握的關係 最終會輕輕的放底
放開後反為令人舒服... 多麼諷刺

然後發覺"安全感"是一種不需奢求不用刻意給予的感覺
遇上對的人 便會感受到對的安全感
就像風箏與風一樣 一切來得多麼的舒服自然。

dalalalala...

time passed by really quickly. and i mean, really really really quickly. can't believe it was another year and a half that my roommate and i have been living together. my roommate and i, we've been through alot of ups, and ALOT of downs. we've had our peaceful moments, but according to our NOT SO SMOOTH LIVES, our so-called "peaceful moments" never last long. we are officially moving on tuesday. booked the moving truck already and now just doing alot packing. we, once again, have to adapt to another new living environment. alot has happened for the past year. i just have a sudden urge to re-cap all things that i remember of. from the "most heartbreaking break up in the universe", 2009 Dec was the month i moved into this place. it took me a few months to only stop crying. i got my emotions a little bit back together and i met #1 around new years time. it was short and was not worth it. a total rebound. (haha, im sorry!) and then for the next few months, i remember i was still recovering from it. then i got attached with #2 in March. i had to say i really regretted it. he was awesome. he was cute. he was quiet, humble and funny. he can sing. he was totally intelligent but low profile. it was really sudden and i was really happy while then. only he was TOO BUSY and caught up with work, we only lasted a super short-while. then he was gone for a business trip and i guess that was how everything really faded out. the only reason why i regret, it's because we are not friends anymore. it is a shame to lose a friend like him. it took me awhile to accept that he doens't want to talk to me anymore. i guess he felt awkward of the things that happened while he was gone. here is the story... today of last year, i had to say goodbye to HimHim. one of the cutest puppy on earth. i was devestated and felt extreme guilt at that time. not to mention that i was already in pain to recover from the "most heartbreaking break up in the universe" and also two failing relationships after it. i still miss my ex-pup til this day, but i try not to mention any part of him in front of anyone. but the heartbreak that i had for HimHim actually brought me and E back together in May. i still remember the first week we got back together after being apart for 7 months. i still clearly remember our shopping day in downtown. it was unbelievably amazing, it was sweeter than the first day that we were ever together. i guess that was the feeling of "lost and found". our mended relationship didn't last too long though, only 3 months. i had to go through a break up again with the same person. it was really hurtful too, but it didn't hurt AS MUCH as the first time. so i call it just a heartbreaking break up. then it was my wisdom tooth time... oh how painful... but he stayed with me the whole time and took care of me after. then it was my birthday which i spent without him. about two weeks later it was his birthday, and i purposely didn't go over for his birthday dinner at home with his family. i didn't want to be involve anymore with things that had to do with him. i was ready to leave things behind. not too long later, i met #3 in Sept. he was another ideal man. only this time he is not really a singer. (haha) he was caring, quiet, humble, super funny. we just really clicked in all of our conversations. i was ready to move on for real. with him, i found my long lost smile and laughters; i enjoyed all the sitting and chatting in the park when it was chilly cold; i felt so important and cherished for all the time. but life is always unexpectable. E came back. his return totally caused me to lose my mind. i was confused, i was lost, i felt like i was two different people before and after. E really has a huge impact on how i feel and think. that time was about a week before i leave to hong kong for a full month vacation. so i told #3 and E to hold off, and let everything fall into place after i come back from my vacation. of course, while i was away, i realized who i missed the most, who i really want to cherish, who i will forgive no matter how many times. i guess its not that hard to guess what i decided after my vacation. and till this day, i still owe #3 my official sorry. Then, in Nov 2010, E and I were back together. we talked about everything seriously. we talked about the paths we want to take. we talked about the conflicts we have with the paths we wanna take. we finally got things sorted out, compromised and planned out our roads ahead for the next at least 2 years. quite honestly, i dont even remember that we were back together for another 5 months. were we happy? were we sweet? were we stressed? i dont remember. i tried to think of some happy moments we had during those 5 months but my mind seem to always go blank. then, i finally realize during those 5 months, all we thought of or concentrated on was ALL about the new life in HK. we were buried in stresses and plannings. now that i think of it, i dont think we even enjoyed a bit of the last 5 months that we were together. i tried to prepare everything for him prior his departure. his luggage, his gatherings with friends/families, his IDs, his gifts for friends in HK, etc etc. again, life is never expectabe. guess what! i never prepared for another break up! as silly as it sounds, YES I WAS STILL HURT TO ROCK BOTTOM. i ask myself the same question too, how can i be hurt again and again but i let myself be in the black hole again and again? is this how forgiving can you get when u truly love a person? one thing for sure is, LOVE MAKES US VULNERABLE. so vulnerable that your heart breaks everytime his name is being mentioned. so vulnerable that tears run down your eyes first thing in the morning and last thing in the night. when is this going to go away is the question. "save me from the darkness". this is what i tell the people that i care about. i want them to care about me too. i want to know from them what does it take to stop this from happening again and again. i want to know what does it take for E to not to run in my blood forever. i've listened to friends. start trying to go out again. start trying to find my own life again becasue my life was always revolving around him. good and bad, everything i do is for him, and only the best for him. today is one month of the day that i've headed out to find my life again. i must've done something really good in my pre-life to deserve meeting the friends that i have now. i guess this time is the best i've done so far in the past four break ups that i had with E. the best part is, we are on a different piece of land on earth, we are officially 12-hours apart! nonetheless, for whatever happens, i still do wish the best for him. as my friends say, wish the best for him so he will never need to come back here. (haha) so this is what happened in my life for the past 1.5 years that i've been at Karen Miles Cres. it's time to move, and most importantly, it's time to MOVE ON. im definitely looking forward to my new place, even tho my room is smaller, but its something fresh! and i have a flat panel stove!!! SO MUCH EASIER TO CLEAN!!! let everything start on a new page and wish for the best. what doesnt kill me makes me stronger. memories will always stay as memories. i will not try to delete it, it will be set aside to a safe safe place that no one will ever touch again. tuesday it is! happy moving! :)